Another Thing My Wife Would Never Let Me Do...

Not that I'm jealous of the lifestyle a swingin' single guy gets to live as compared to the lifestyle I lead... Okay - maybe a little jealous...
Afterall - it's babes in nurse's uniforms.


Sweet asses and hamburgers.
By Dublin O'Shea

I never would've thought that beer, giant hamburgers, and sexy nurses would go so well together. Maybe you are of the same mind. Well, I'm here to tell you that you could not be more wrong.

I'm not much for places like Hooters or strip clubs. Sure, I've been around the block a few times. I've even worked the corner a time or two. And I can't say I've never had a lapdance. I can't even say I've never given a lapdance. But that's a story for another day. My point is that these places hold no interest for me anymore.

Hooter's wings just aren't that good. Ray's Pizza, The Dubliner, and Barwinkles have wings that are so good, it'll make you want to smack your mother.

And strip bars are lame. Sure there's lots of naked boobs. But $10 cover charges and $6 beers just ain't worth it. Besides, I'm not allowed to go anyway. I'm engaged. That should explain it.

But in spite of the lack of enjoyment I get from these establishments, I went with some friends to a little place called the Heart-Attack Grill. Let me paint you a brief mental picture. Who knows, you might want to fly to Phoenix just to see it in real life.

Imagine a plaza with a small restaurant. Then imagine 3 types of beer (Bud light, Corona, and a hometown fave, Kiltlifter). Now I chose the latter. Not only because I think Bud light and Corona aren't worth drinking, but also because Kiltlifter has more booze per bottle. And it's called Kilt-lifter. And if that isn't a winner, then frankly, I have no idea what is.

So we have a small joint, with beer. So far so good. Let's add food options. You can order a Single burger, a Double-bypass burger, a Triple-bypass burger, and a Quadruple-bypass burger. (note that the Heart-Attack Grill sells a Quadruple-bypass burger. Yep. Good times.) And just so you know, the single is a 1/2 pound of meat. I'm sure you can do the rest of the math.

Oh, and you can get fries. These are no ordinary fries, but these are potatoes fried in 100% LARD! Trans-fats galore. Oh boy.. now that's some eatin'!.

And I think you can order a soda or water instead of beer, but only if you're a pussy.

So to recap, we have giant f-ing burgers, lard-covered fries, and beer. This is my own personal wet dream. Because dammit, the beer was good, the fries tasty, and I swear it was the best flippin burger I've ever had.

And for dessert, every employee was a chick in a nurses outfit. If I could choose my own personal heaven, I think this would be it. Not that I need chicks in nurses outfits... but to be honest... nurses outfits are hot. Ladies, keep this in mind. Nurse outfit = hot. Enough said. (mostly because I'll be in deep shiesse if I don't stop talking about it)

Needless to say, this place is a gold mine. Great burgers, beer, and nurses outfits. I wish I would've come up with the idea. I'd be rich by now. And if you're ever in the Tempe, AZ area, head over to Warner & Kyrene and check it out. You won't be disappointed.

Sweet Georgia Brown. That was a tasty burger.