It's Enough To Make The Duke Cry

There are two things that many people, except those nearest and dearest to me, don't know about me...
First, is that I am a HUGE fan of Westerns. I love old Westerns with guys like Gary Cooper and Robert Mitchum, newer Westerns like Tombstone or Unforgiven, and I like everything in between - especially anything with John Wayne. I LOVE John Wayne!
The second thing most people may not know about me is that I turn into a big pussy ass bitch every time I get sick. I whine and moan and complain as though I am the only person in the universe who has ever known the pain and suffering that I am experiencing.

This weekend these two things came together and created a terrific amount of internal conflict for me...

Last year, my mother in law, knowing my love of Westerns and The Duke, bought me a great 20 oz coffee mug with John Wayne on it and a quote from The Duke that says "Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway".
A pretty kick ass quote if you ask me...

Well - Saturday morning I woke up with what felt like a Grapefruit sized burr in the back of my throat, a cough, a stuffy nose and a sinus headache. I was sick! Unfortunately for me, Mrs. Chronically Insane was working all day - so I had to take care of myself. I was forced to roll out of bed and put my "big boy pants" on...
I moaned and fussed and whined and ached with every move I made.
I shuffled to the bathroom, wiped away the eye boogars, pried out my contacts and put on my glasses. Next, I shuffled to the kitchen - bitching the whole way - and found my phone and called my wife at work.
"I'm sick" I said as she answered.
"Tough - I'm not coming home. Gotta go..." she said. Click.
"Grrrrr...."
I needed tea with honey and lemon and I needed tea with honey and lemon NOW! I have never had to make my self a cup of tea, my wife has always done that for me, so I was a bit befuddled as to the whereabouts of the tea.
I called my wife again.
"Where is the tea? I need tea now - and you're not here for me when I need you!"
"Look in the container on the counter marked "tea"." Click.
"Enhhhh!!!!!!!" I whined.

I found the tea and honey, we had no lemon - so that sucked, and I headed to the cupboard for a mug. I opened it, and who was staring me in the eyes?
John Wayne.
I pushed him aside and looked further in the cupboard for a different mug but couldn't find one. I reluctantly grabbed my John Wayne mug and plopped it on the counter and made my tea.
I shuffled over to grab the honey and shuffled back to the mug and poured the honey in.
As I poured the honey into The Duke mug - I noticed his eyes peering right at me as if to say " Suck it up Pussy Boy! Stop your bitchin' and be a man for once! You say you love cowboy movies - well then, why don'tcha act like one?"
I turned the mug so that he wasn't facing me anymore.
I immediately saw the words "Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway"...

"Fuck you John Wayne! I'm sick damn it!!"

I finished making my tea and made my way to the couch to sit down. I sipped my tea and burned my tongue...
"Enhhhhh!!!!! Gahhhh!" I complained.
I looked down at the mug again and there he was - just staring at me with that crooked, know-it-all smile and steely gaze.

"Don't be such a sissy - Pilgrim..."

I really hate John Wayne.