
We are finally entering that time of year when you don't need to turn the TV on each morning and look at the day's forecast. It's going to be cold!
I love cold weather - not the biting cold weather that makes your bones ache, I mean the crisp Fall or Winter days when a thin layer of snow lies on the ground giving the world an air of tranquility.
I am no stranger to cold temperatures, and have always been involved in cold weather activities.
When I was in junior high and high school, I played soccer. Often times towards the end of each season we would have a game or two that we'd have to play in the snow. I also enjoyed hunting with my Dad for a while, and more recently have gone ice fishing with my father-in-law. My first job in Flint was as a Salvation Army bell ringer (yeah - Flint is a little short on charity - so they actually have to pay their bell ringers....).
Now, each morning I have to walk to the train, and then stand at the bus stop outside Union Station to wait for a bus.
Along the way - I have picked up some really useful pointers on how to keep warm in cold weather and how to incorporate them into my daily cold-weather commute, so I thought I'd pass those on to you. You're welcome.
1) Cayenne Pepper in the socks.
This works! Just put a little bit of Cayenne Pepper in your socks and let it work its way into your pores. Trust me - you'll forget you were cold.
2) Cut open an animal.
Yes - we all saw Luke Skywalker do it when he sliced open the belly of his Ton-Ton in The Empire Strikes Back, but this really does work. If you find yourself getting uncomfortably cold - just find a horse or cow and cut them open and crawl inside. It is IMPERATIVE not to remove the internal organs as this generates more heat and they serve as insulation. If no horses or cattle are available - you could cover yourself with a few dead cats in a pinch...
3) Wear wool.
Seriously. It may be scratchy - but it is one of the best materials to wear in sub-zero conditions. It breathes and pulls moisture away from the skin. I always wear wool underwear in the winter, and I've finally gotten used to the salve I have to apply to my nether region each time.
4) Card board box.
You may look silly carrying a card board box around with you all the time - but you'll be the one laughing when you unfold that puppy and crawl inside it at the bus stop while everyone else stands out in the freezing wind. who knows? You may even get enough spare change tossed to you to buy a coffee...
5) Find the fat guy.
Fat people are generally very friendly and will talk to anyone. Just walk up to the fattest person in line at the bus stop and strike up a conversation. Be sure that their back is to the wind though - this way you absorb their body heat and they block the wind.
Don't feel foolish for not having thought of these tips before, just go out, enjoy the cold weather - and you can thank me later.
I love cold weather - not the biting cold weather that makes your bones ache, I mean the crisp Fall or Winter days when a thin layer of snow lies on the ground giving the world an air of tranquility.
I am no stranger to cold temperatures, and have always been involved in cold weather activities.
When I was in junior high and high school, I played soccer. Often times towards the end of each season we would have a game or two that we'd have to play in the snow. I also enjoyed hunting with my Dad for a while, and more recently have gone ice fishing with my father-in-law. My first job in Flint was as a Salvation Army bell ringer (yeah - Flint is a little short on charity - so they actually have to pay their bell ringers....).
Now, each morning I have to walk to the train, and then stand at the bus stop outside Union Station to wait for a bus.
Along the way - I have picked up some really useful pointers on how to keep warm in cold weather and how to incorporate them into my daily cold-weather commute, so I thought I'd pass those on to you. You're welcome.
1) Cayenne Pepper in the socks.
This works! Just put a little bit of Cayenne Pepper in your socks and let it work its way into your pores. Trust me - you'll forget you were cold.
2) Cut open an animal.
Yes - we all saw Luke Skywalker do it when he sliced open the belly of his Ton-Ton in The Empire Strikes Back, but this really does work. If you find yourself getting uncomfortably cold - just find a horse or cow and cut them open and crawl inside. It is IMPERATIVE not to remove the internal organs as this generates more heat and they serve as insulation. If no horses or cattle are available - you could cover yourself with a few dead cats in a pinch...
3) Wear wool.
Seriously. It may be scratchy - but it is one of the best materials to wear in sub-zero conditions. It breathes and pulls moisture away from the skin. I always wear wool underwear in the winter, and I've finally gotten used to the salve I have to apply to my nether region each time.
4) Card board box.
You may look silly carrying a card board box around with you all the time - but you'll be the one laughing when you unfold that puppy and crawl inside it at the bus stop while everyone else stands out in the freezing wind. who knows? You may even get enough spare change tossed to you to buy a coffee...
5) Find the fat guy.
Fat people are generally very friendly and will talk to anyone. Just walk up to the fattest person in line at the bus stop and strike up a conversation. Be sure that their back is to the wind though - this way you absorb their body heat and they block the wind.
Don't feel foolish for not having thought of these tips before, just go out, enjoy the cold weather - and you can thank me later.

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